December 24

Healing Through Relationships


I’ve shared in the past how I believe telling people, namely women, that they need to heal before they get into another relationship is problematic.

Damage or trauma done within a relationship will require healing individually, but also within the dynamic of a relationship.

As I begin exploring the landscape of love, dating, and relationships in this new phase of my own life, I am reminded of this and seeing it unfold each day.


If I had to call it something, it’s contraction. I feel the tension in my body, sometimes a blockage in my throat, and pressure in my heart. My mind scans its data bank recalling when…

And my head wants to remind me of the past, when I was hurt, let down, used, forgotten, or mistreated.

It’s in those moments when I have to pause and just listen. I allow the thoughts and memories to come forward, and I acknowledge them, but I also remind myself of the depth of safety that I have created and that NOW is NOT THEN.

This is all NEW, yet the memories I have are OLD, and they also have nothing to do with the person in the NOW.

The hardest part is knowing in each moment that this new connection is not the old person and responding in new ways. When you continue to respond from old wounding or trauma, it allows that energy from the past to sneak in and take over.

Love is Energy. We have the ability to amplify it to higher frequencies or to create low vibrational connections. Knowing what I know about love and spirituality, I am choosing differently.

It takes work. I have to be aware of all that’s happening within me and choose not to place old stories on new connections. Regardless of whether this connection lasts, which I truly hope it does, I know that it’s here to help me heal and open up in new ways.


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