I am a domestic violence survivor!
Reflecting on that period in my life is almost surreal. I never imagined that I would be in an abusive relationship and I never imagined I would be so open to sharing my story.
When I started talking to other women around my age (and older), many of us had the same story. A lot of women and families are affected by domestic violence.
Words can’t begin to describe how it was living in a perpetual state of fear.
Constantly walking on eggshells, feeling like it was my fault, or that I deserved it. I wanted to leave but was afraid, I had a lot to lose.
Ultimately I chose my life because without it I couldn’t be there for my daughter. I went through a horrible and unfair custody battle but I survived. However, I remained a victim for years after the physical abuse was over.
Physical abuse is just one part of it. There’s also emotional, mental, financial and even spiritual abuse. Every aspect of your being is affected by abuse.
Letting go of that victim mentality and the shame and losses I experienced was the hardest part.
I was scared to leave my house, I thought I was a bad person and Mother. I was ashamed and embarrassed.
I struggled with depression, battled suicidal thoughts. Riddled with fear, anxiety and PTSD, I didn’t give up. I kept going and kept fighting even when I wanted to quit. The worst part is that I dealt with this alone, I didn’t have help, and I didn’t know where to turn for help.
I wanted to share a bit of my struggle because that is what helped me heal. I had to talk about it, I had to accept it, and I had to share my testimony so that you or someone you know who is going through this can stand up and say ENOUGH.
Love does not hurt.
Contact your local authorities or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Love yourself & Protect yourself. I wish I had someone to tell me these things and help me out of the hell I was living in.
I have learned that my past does not make me nor will I allow it to determine my future. I have shed those negative thoughts and let go of my past.
Sometimes it hurts when I reflect on it, but I have to remember that I was strong enough to walk away and put it to an end.
Being abused is a pain that doesn’t ever truly go away, but I have healed and will continue to heal. I have learned to live, love, and smile. No worries. No bothers, just me! I kept going and am so blessed and grateful for love, my life, health, and sanity.