December 26

Become an Active Participant in Your Own Life


As I work on clearing out content from my old group, I'm posting them on my website. 

Here’s a throwback video from my private Community.

In this video, I talk about self-reflection and awareness around relationships and life in general. This moment is a defining moment in our lives. How do you choose to live? Are you ready to receive the love that you desire?

Now is the time to take action and release the excuses. Let’s go into a new day, month, or year with a different perspective and energy.

It’s important to know where you are, what you want, and where you’re going to help you manifest your desires.

OK, let’s try this again. Hello everyone, happy Monday. I hope that you are well.

I was just sharing and then I don’t know, I think I pushed the wrong button or something. So let me relocate and try to figure this thing out again.

I have not been feeling well the past week or so. Now I’m starting to feel a little bit better and trying to get back in to the swing of things and sent an e-mail out this morning that just talked about how this month has been like the alarm sounding and like a wake up call, and so you know, having to slow down.

And I always find that I don’t get sick often, so when I do, I know there’s some processing, there’s something that needs to take place and I had this moment where I really just sat down, and I did a lot of journaling.

And dug up some things that I didn’t really realize how it was affecting me. I did this clearing ritual and just all of this, like releasing and journaling and writing things out and clearing things out.

It’s interesting because over the past couple of weeks, I’ve really been looking at my daily schedule, my routine, my habits and the things that I’m doing and seeing where I can improve and how I can really make space for all of these different things that I want in my life.

And I think it’s worth mentioning, because the things that we do every day, those are our habits, and oftentimes it’s so easy to just stay in those habitual things and not really do the work to examine ourselves and the things that we may or may not be doing that sometimes don’t serve us.

And so having that self-awareness is so key and so important. And I’m very grateful to have that because a lot of people don’t have the ability to be self aware.

We’re often always blaming others for our issues, for the lack that we have for, you know, whatever it is and we really have to take responsibility for our lives and we have to take responsibility for our relationships and really take responsibility for doing what it takes to have what it is that you desire.

Especially with relationships, it’s easy to blame it on another person:

Well, I haven’t found him yet or all these men are crazy.
Online dating is crazy.

Like it’s so many reasons why we avoid dating, right and to have a healthy relationship one, you have to have a relationship. So that means dating.

That means also exploring your stuff as to:
  • What does that look like?
  • What is love and why did my past relationships not work?
  • How am I in relationships?
  • Am I being codependent?
  • Am I confident?
  • Or do I have a lot of insecurities that come up within my relationships?

So it’s a lot of work, and I’m realizing that oftentimes when we go about finding relationships with the people that I talked to the women that I work with it’s never focused on…

Like, I have to turn the reflector back on them, right? And really help people realize you know, your relationships start with you.

Everything starts with you.

So if you are not aware of how you’re moving about the world, how you’re navigating relationships, what your thoughts and beliefs are about love and where they came from.
Then you’re kind of disempowering yourself, and you’re kind of running on autopilot.

With everything that I have been going through myself and trying to get back, well, you know, I really was looking at my own life and my own relationships and even like, my role as a mother, because that’s, I would say with my daughter, Savvi, who will be 5 in a couple of months like that has been a big challenge for me.

I really just wanted to dive deeper into the mechanics of that relationship because it’s important, and it’s for me as a mother to be able to give her what she needs and to parent in the way that I desire to parent. I’ve really been exploring that.

And so, just so much stuff came up around, not necessarily my daughter, right, but around my beliefs as a mother and how I felt about motherhood and so.

You know, I’m doing all of this journaling and writing and releasing crying and just being very honest, and I feel like for this month, right when we start something new, a lot of challenges.

A lot of challenges and things will come up.

And so this month, I was really paying attention to the challenges, to the resistance, to the failures, to the false starts, to the thoughts, the habits.

Checking each one of them like okay. I need to start waking up earlier if I want to get these things done. Or okay, I need to pull in support here in order to accomplish this?

And I was talking with my girlfriends last night and, you know, we were talking about relationships and everything. And I was like, you know, I really wanted to start dating and things like that again. But I haven’t made time for it. And so making space for what we say that we want is really important.

Knowing what it is that we want is really important, and doing most importantly, doing what it takes to get what we want is very important.

If you have time, well, no make time because January is over and what, four days, I think.

About four days and really explore this month of January.

  • What worked?
  • What didn’t work?
  • Did you show up for yourself?
  • What were you speaking?
  • What were you thinking?
  • You know, were you taking care of yourself?

And anything where you’re like, Dang, I could have did better, write that down and implement it in your life.
Because what the realization was, especially like I hopped on social media for like 2 seconds yesterday. And there was just this… Ohh just so, so much heaviness over the lives that were lost, including Kobe Bryant, and I’m not sure who else was, you know, involved, but there was just so much just death.

Repeat after repeat. Like just post after post.

I feel like January was just a wake up call altogether. A lot of people have been sleepwalking through life, looking back at the last 10 years of your life and seeing.

Where and what needs to be adjusted like where have you been sleepwalking in your life?
Where have you been running on autopilot?

We really cannot afford to continue living:

  • Feeling unloved.
  • Feeling unhappy.
  • Feeling like a failure.
  • Feeling that you are not abundant.
  • Feeling that life is a drag.

Like that’s not, that’s not living. I just want to impress upon everyone this is a profound time for everyone.

And there’s so much that we all have to receive and so much that we all have to give. It all starts with you, like really getting that into your mindset, getting that into your heart, into your spirit and being very clear on who you want to be.

How you want your life to be and you know the people around you.
What is that like?

And I had an old friend reach out to me that wanted some help. They were like they needed healing. Their life has been really crazy. They keep finding themselves in these situations and so I asked them three questions:

  1. What were you doing in the past?
  2. What are you doing now?
  3. What do you want in the future going forward?

And they couldn’t answer that. They could not answer that, so I’m waiting for them to get back to me because I was like I. And my thing is, the work that I do, I can’t help people if they want the help. I’m realizing now the more inquiries that I get, people are not ready for that level of support.

Because it takes honesty, being honest with yourself and really being real and being like yo I’ve been messing up. I am not who I thought I was going to be. I was not proud of who I am.

It’s not to judge like there’s no judgment. It’s just until you realize that you are not being the best you that you can be, that you’re not living your best life.

There’s not a lot that anyone else can do for you.

You have to have that wake up call within yourself and different events and experiences in your life may trigger that.

Like for me, I had a wake up call. You know, I don’t get sick very often, but when I was like, I just paid attention. I did a lot of meditating and journaling and just listening going within and really tuning into myself and that helped me.

Then seeing everyone reacting to the loss of life, that was another wake up call. And so now I am inspiring you with what inspired me to send out a wake up call within this group, within this community.

Because, if you continue to do what you’re doing today, you’re going to continue to experience what you have already experienced.

So whether you are here to improve your relationships, whether you are just here for sisterhood and support, whether you’re here for personal growth or self love to improve your relationship with yourself.

You have to be an active participant in your life and share what it is that you want. Share what it is that you need so that you can get the support and really get what you need.
And it’s interesting, like I was, as I was writing this morning, something that came up was that life was created for you.

This world that we live in was created for you!

It wasn’t created to hold you down, to make you struggle or fight.

It was created for you to be the best version of yourself, for you to live your dream life, for you to be loved, for you to give love like this.

This is our world. This is our home, and we can shape it and mold it to be what we need it to be for us.

And that really just made me feel really good about everything because there’s so much potential and so much power.

But the thing about potential is if you’re not using it, then it doesn’t matter!

If you’re not tapping into the possibility around you.

If you’re not believing or having faith in the unknown, the unseen, your dreams, your hopes then you’re just preventing or prolonging you receiving what it is that you were meant to receive, and to have and to be and to do so.

I know this was a lot, but I hope that it was inspiring or motivated you in some way. I’m really excited because I’ll be working on some new podcast episodes as soon as I get 100% I’m not sounding all congested.

But I’m very excited about just sharing my message, showing up, being authentic and really being in a place of service.

Yeah, I just wanted to share that and hope that this kind of served as a wake up call for you and I will see you next time.

If you have any questions, comments, need support, comment below; let me know.

This space is for you and together we can make it a beautiful, transformative space for love and healing.

So I will see you next time. Have a beautiful week.


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