January 1

01.01.23 COTD: Acceptance and Blessings

I forget how potent these cards are. Today I’ve been so tender. I’ve been using that word a lot lately.

Sensitive to everything and feeling things so deeply. Gazing at these cards with tears in my eyes because the medicine and messages they hold.

Looking at the Five of Gourds the phrase cut off your nose to spite your own face came to mind. I know that’s not the exact wording, but the message is the same.

The missing fingers reminds me of all the times I hurt myself or put myself on the back burner to help others and the Fish, with the energy of Mother and Baby reminded me of what that cost me.

In these cards I also see so much love, support, and protection. Within the Fish, I see myself being cradled by my Higher Self. And am reminded that I’m a baby, learning as I go.

Babies don’t know anything and no one expects them to. I feel this gives me permission to NOT have all the answers, to NOT force myself to learn or do anything, and gives me the freedom to just be as I am.

The lessons from the Five of Gourds taught me so much. I don’t need to move fast or have it all figured out. Right now I’m integrating and adjusting.

Breathe, just breathe. I keep getting messages about breathing. After all that I’ve experienced and overcame, all I need to do is just be and breathe.

I feel like today is about rest and acknowledging the very tender state that I’m in. Babies are so vulnerable and need so much tending and care, that’s where I am right now.

It’s not so much about grieving, but more so about relaxing I did a lot of hard and painful work. I deserve to rest and be cared for.

Fish represents blessings and also birth. I haven’t been dreaming of fish, but babies and small children have been in my dreams. It’s a reminder also to be grateful for the lessons and experiences.

I love the saying that without heartache you wouldn’t know love, or something like that. Tears are a sign of deep caring. Just like when babies cry it means something. Everything has meaning, even the hard things in life.

The Five of Gourds speaks to the beauty in accepting what is and finding value and meaning in our suffering.

The guidebook says:

Feel the pain so that we can move forward into a space of healing.

Things are getting better every day. What was lost, is no more and that is a beautiful thing. I know I’m going to be in this raw state for a while after releasing so much. I’m okay with that!

A new me is emerging!


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